*I wrote this while still living in London.
Since becoming pregnant I feel like I’ve become more enlightened. I sh*t you not life has taken on a whole new perspective. Things seem so much clearer. I have a deeper understanding of life that I didn’t have before and this is such a great thing. It shows I’ve matured and I’m growing mentally each day, as I prepare to become a mother. That brings me to this blog post.
In one of my enlightened moments I realised how much I took my mom for granted and how much we as society take our mothers for granted when they are living.
When your mom is living, do you ever miss her? Do you ever realise just how big of an impact she has in your life?
I used to sometimes get annoyed when my mom would want me to take her to the store or give her a lift somewhere. It only dawned on me once becoming pregnant, how much I missed doing those things for her. I feel so silly and petty when I think about it.
Since becoming pregnant, I have missed my mother so damn much!! She is alive and well, but she’s not here in the UK with me. I never realized how important it is to have your family close until now.
There have been days where I was feeling a bit weepy and the only person I wanted was my mom. I sh*t you not I would have my moment of tears and I would legit be crying to myself saying, ‘I want my momma.’ With my hormones turning up and my emotions just paying me no mind, I realised just how much I needed her; just how much I needed her calming voice and presence. Her presence alone would have been enough for those weepy moments.
I am very grateful that I still have my mom. Lord knows I am not trying to take that for granted. I am also very appreciative of the great relationship we have. My mom is the best and I thank God for her. She did her very best raising my sister and I, and I gotta say she did a great job. My sister and I aren’t perfect but we are pretty damn awesome. I can’t express how much my respect has grown for my mother.
I also have a new found respect for women whose mothers are no longer living or those who don’t have a good relationship with their mothers. Especially when they become mothers themselves. That is a journey that you most of all want to share with your mom. You want to be able to show her all of your pictures from your scans and tell her about your cravings. You’d want her to witness your growing baby bump especially. You’d have questions about when she was carrying you and what type of experiences she had as well. But more importantly you’d want her to be there for the birth of her grandchild. She’d be there to calm you and give you advice, and to also reassure you that you will be a great mother. She will always have your back no matter what because well….that’s what mothers do.