Where Do I Begin?

Hey luvlies! How’s life treating everyone? I hope you are well. 🙂

I’ve had a ton of things on my mind lately and I hope this post will resonate with someone. Especially the single moms, or the mommas period, that are entrepreneurs or want to be entrepreneurs.

I’m currently in bed, and nursing Milahn while I type this. I can barely see the keyboard, it’s going on for ten o’clock and I’m fighting sleep. I should stop and finish later, but I really want to get this post done now.

…………

Um…….. I fell asleep. It’s now 3:40 am. Let’s start again.

So recently, I decided to get to work on my passion projects. No more procrastinating. No more being envious of others accomplishing their goals. I’m even taking on this mindset when it comes to my professional developement at work. No more saying, ‘I’ll start when I have more money’ or ‘It’s not the right time’.

I mean damn, time waits for no one and I am bored and feeling mighty unfulfilled. I have settled when it came to a lot of things in the past, and I still do from time to time, but not this time. This is something I will regret if I don’t at least try.

The good thing about maturity, you recognise when you’re putting things off and you can be honest about why. Let’s keep it 100. I’m a single momma who has more debt than money, but I want to grow my business and provide value. You need money. You need that capital, and right now I don’t have much of that.

Now in my last post I mentioned I am starting a business. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m going to launch a pop up shop and I’m working on my own T-Shirt line. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for yearssss. I actually gave it a go a few years ago, but I didn’t stick to it. That’s all I will share for now, but there’s a lot more that I’m working on!

So where do I begin?

First off, I’m getting myself organised. I’m a note taker and I love to make lists. I write down just about everything. I will normally date it as well. I find this helps me to see if I have made any progress, from the time I initially wrote down my goal or idea.

So what I recently did was this. I went through my bag and took out all the notebooks and sticky notes and threw away what I didn’t need. I threw away the stray papers and got rid of the clutter. I have a notebook for each passion project and for the podcasts I listen to. I believe that you need to keep your thoughts and ideas organised. There should be designated notebooks for each project you are working on. It’s just like when you’re in school. You don’t work on your maths in your history book right?

I also decided to step out and start networking. It may be small steps mind you lol, but I’m trying. I created my Instagram page for my business. I haven’t posted much, but I’m working on that. I am just glad I stopped putting off creating it. I’m spending a lot more time on LinkedIn as well. This is also to help with my professional developement. I will be completely honest. I am definitely seeking other employment opportunities. I would like to be professionally and financially fulfilled. I have my daughter to consider and I will work my ass off to get my designations if that’s what it takes. I will bust my ass to get my business up and running as well. There’s so many women entrepreneurs doing big things! If they can do it, so can I and so can YOU.

My last lil nugget I want to share is this. READ!!! Start reading.

There’s a wealth of knowledge out there. You have to be hungry for it and seek it out. I’m one that loves books, but ever since I had Milahn, I can’t seem to find the time to read. Well guess what hunny, that’s about to change! I currently have at least ten books in my Amazon cart to purchase.

Listening to podcasts is extremely helpful as well! I’ve been listening to Side Hustle Pro and Myleik Teele’s podcast!! These are everything and more. I’ve gained valuable knowledge just by listening to them. If you can’t do anything else, at least listen to some of them. Seriously.

I have one last thing to share for now.

I turn to my Father, Jehovah. I lean on Him. I talk to Him daily, but not enough. I don’t lean on my own understanding. I don’t make rash decisions. Not anymore. If I’m feeling discouraged, distracted or lost, I turn to Him. On a daily basis I am reading my Bible plans. I’m reading the word more and more and strengthening my relationship with God. I can’t do anything without Him. From the last season to this season, I know it’s because of God that I’m not where I used to be. Last year was so so painful. One day I may share in more detail, but for now, take my word for it. The stress was real. You can see in my pictures from last summer how I lost so much weight. But I am more than a conqueror.

Imay have went off tpoic a bit, but it can never be said too many times. To all the women going through things, be encouraged! No matter how alone you feel, you are NEVER alone. Never. You are strong. You are brave. You are loved!

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

Thanks for reading luvlies. Be blessed.

x

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Blogfection In Progress.. .

Listen.. Listen… Listen

Firstly hi. Hi to anyone that reads this, and if you don’t, thanks for popping by anyway.

So yeah. I haven’t posted in a while, blah, blah, blah. I’m a single momma who doesn’t know how to really get in a lot of ‘Me‘ time. I work full time, take care of home…etc etc.  It is what it is.  I’m writing something now though dammit and someone better read it. Please?  🙂  Thanks!

Lol…Anywho.

I’m here trying to edit, I’m sorry customize, this blog.  I finally grew up and upgraded my plan. I totally used money from the grocery fund to pay for it too. Sighs. I am on a tight ass momma budget, but so it goes. I thank the Lord for His continued grace and favour though, because goodness! He knows it gets tight each month.

Now back to trying to customize this blog. I don’t know what the heck I am doing. I’m not understanding what the categories are for. But as I write this, I think I just answered my own question. Duh.

But seriously, I look at the different themes, see one I like and click ‘save and publish’. I view mine and I’m like ummm what? It obviously doesn’t look the same, but it’s like it’s so incomplete. Something is missing. I think I might delete some of my previous posts as well, but I’m not sure.

Either way, I want my blog to be pretty and um, interesting? I don’t want an ugly blog.  I realllly don’t. UGH. So don’t get used to the way it looks. It’s in a transition stage. Like when you’re growing your natural hair out and it still has permed ends? You know how it goes? Ok, well even if you don’t, Google it.

So yeah…until next time!

 

Milah x

 

Love Yourself First

 

So this is something that has been on my mind. I posted this on Facebook yesterday. I was good and irritated about some things and I really felt the need to say something. I hope that someone will get something out of this. Women put themselves through too much. Enough is enough!! We need to share our stories to help others. We’re all going through or have been through difficult situations. Let’s start with ourselves…

Ok…. I needa say some things. A dose of realness for you. There’s so much more I wanna say… but soon come.

Now some of these things I have been guilty of and I am going to try my hardest to make better choices.

Ladies….we need to do better.

There will be times when we give men the husband benefits for example. STOP IT. Not all men are deserving of this. Just like not all women are deserving of wifey benefits.

I’m not talking about just sex either. I’m talking about cooking, cleaning, paying bills, they’re using our transport, buying them clothes, toiletries etc.Taking care of their kids. THEIR kids(Yes it takes a village but his name is MAN and he needs to do his part). Getting mad when they are hollering at other chicks. Getting mad when they don’t wife us up. Getting mad because we don’t have a title. Getting mad when they do us wrong. Getting mad at the OTHER chick(s). BUT WE STAY…. AND GIVE THEM EVEN MOREEEEEE!!!

Now this isn’t about bashing men.

This is about WOMEN recognizing their worth. We need to stop giving them our all when they are not even giving us a sample of what we deserve. Shoot, we don’t even get the title of girlfriend sometimes, but we are letting them get drunk off of the sweet fruits of our bodies and feeding them steak and lobster off our dime.

Especially stop giving up the Jewel of the Nile. When you have sex, you open up yourself to a whollllllle lot of things. Sex f&@ks with your mind. Pun intended. When sex comes into play, ladies…. you know we take it to the next level. So do yourselves a favour and just hold off.

Now ladies….WE DO NOT NEED MEN TO VALIDATE US. We carry babies. PLURAL. A BABY comes out of our vaginas. If not they cut the baby out. We go through ALLLLLL of that. WE BLEED for ‘x’ amount of days and we don’t die. That isn’t enough validation for you???

Listen here QUEENS. STOP, DROP and ROLL AWAY from that situationship. Yes. That situationship. If you’re wondering ‘what we are’ RUN. If you are in a situationship that is going past 1 year. RUNNNNNNNNN. People know what they want faster than they let on. Humans are very intelligent. We will do what we are allowed to do for as longgggggggg as possible. Especially when there are no consequences.

We teach our kids about consequences when they do wrong, but when it comes to that guy giving you that good ting a ling..who is messing with 2 other chicks and we go broke for…. what we do??? REWARD BAD BEHAVIOUR. LOLLLLLLL and we think he stays because he loves us. Of course he stays!! He stays because he gets away with F@#%y.

Start loving yourselves QUEENS… and to the guys that take advantage.

Karma is a female. She’s got you covered. *Smooches

I can say all this because I have done it. Trusssssssst me.

Stop giving them the sweet fruits of your body. They don’t deserve it. They haven’t earned it.

You can’t even put a value on your temple.

There is no amount that could ever define how exquisite a woman is.

How exquisite her mind is.

How exquisite how body is.

ESPECIALLY when she loves herself and knows her worth.

Ladies….. we need to do better. Love yourselves. Our sons and daughters are watching.

But wait….To the older women and men. You need to set an example as well. You are JUST as responsible. We have learned some of these things from you. We have all heard the stories bout Uncle having 5 outside kids with ace gurl up de country. While Aunty was home tending to dem 10 kids and only 5 of them were hers. Kermit been sipping tea for a min, so don’t be downing the younger ladies and men, when you haven’t been held accountable for not loving yourselves either.

Now imma just gently rest my mic down and skip away.

#Peaceloveandcoconutoil
xo

 

 

I Choose To Wait



” But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

I now understand this, and this is to my Queens especially! It took a very recent heartbreak and the emotional pain that goes with it, to finally comprehend what it means to ‘wait on the Lord’. I’m not sure I even realized how much pain I was in. I wasn’t dealing with it. I didn’t know how to. I just had a baby. I just wanted to work things out with my daughter’s dad, as most women do. But it wasn’t meant to be. Now that wasn’t the heartbreaking part. It was certain things that happened after I made the decision to walk away from the ‘situationship’. I won’t get into any details, but I realise now I should have made better choices at the end of the day. I should have waited on the Lord. I’m such a patient person, just at the wrong times, for the wrong things and people.

For the last 17 years I have not been single though. SEVENTEEN YEARS!!! I’m now 34 and this coming December I will be 35. So yeah, it took me a while, but I now get it. Oh, and it’s not like no one hasn’t gave me good advice and told me to enjoy my own company, be by myself and enjoy my space. A guy actually first told me that! Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

The longest relationship I’ve been in was about 9-10 years on and off in total. That relationship should have probably ended sooner rather than later, but so it goes. Then with my daughter’s dad, that was on and off for 5 years.  That should have ended years ago, but silly me, I said nahhhh. I can change him. He’ll give me what I want if I show him I’m a prize. If I put in the work he’ll come around. Well slap me silly because I definitely wasn’t showing him I was a prize. I thought I was, at first anyway, but I had some growing up to do. I was moaning about his behaviour but never held myself accountable for mine. I chased him and never let him chase me. But as it goes, I’ve done my pack and made silly choices and mistakes in life. Not everyone has, lucky them, but for me, it has helped me to grow.  I remember a friend of mine (a male) told me to humble myself and maybe try dating a different fella from what I’d been accustomed to. Do you know my silly self got mad?? He was right though!! Thank God for hindsight because gee wiz.  I honestly thought I had it all together (lol) and I definitely didn’t. I mean we’re imperfect creatures, but same time, I wanted someone to change and didn’t realise the changes needed to come from within first and foremost.

See, I’m the type that falls hard and fast when I’m really interested in the person.  I clearly would fall for the wrong ones and not get a commitment. It was always ‘bad timing’. That’s what happens when we don’t wait on the Lord’s timing. I wanted a committed relationship so so badly though, and of course I sought attention from the wrong ones. It’s what females do at some point in their lives.  I guess I was looking for love, I’m not sure though…but what’s done is done.

A guy I was cool with once told me if I had my dad in my life I wouldn’t have made certain decisions. This guy just happened to stalk me so I didn’t pay him much mind, but I do think his comment holds some weight.  However thanks be to Jah, my dad and I have a great relationship now!! I feel my daughter is the reason for that too. I had to wait a while, but I got my daddy and heck if I’m letting go! I even see that my standards have changed. My dad gives me that much needed insight and I am so grateful for that.

So anywho, I say all that because I now understand. Wait on the Lord!!  Even if you’re not religious/spiritual, just wait.  When it comes to relationships and getting involved with people, Queens, you know we do stupid things at times. We make silly choices that are not in our favour!! We will wait on a man that has no intention of marriage or doesn’t even commit to being a boyfriend!! Kudos to the Queens that don’t have these issues, however a lot of us do. We really need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives and the choices we make. We deserve so much more but settle for less and in turn break our own hearts. We must look within but at the same time we cannot beat ourselves up. It’s OK to walk away. It’s OK to let go.

For me it has taken heartache. That gut wrenching heartache where it hurts so bad you are too afraid to ever love again. You cry out to the Lord to make it stop. You lose sleep, you don’t eat or you wonder why you’re not good enough and so on. I’m not even trying to be dramatic either. I just know I’m not the only one that’s gone/going through this. I’m so afraid of another broken heart, I really and truly am.  I don’t know how long it’ll take, but it will have to take divine intervention for me to even consider trying that thing called love again. So waiting on the Lord it is. Recognizing that enough is really enough and recognizing my worth has helped. I had to recognize it was time to heal; time to have that peace of mind. My peace of mind is very valuable to me now and I will protect it. I have to make wiser decisions going forward. Not only for myself but for my daughter’s benefit.

I have my daughter and I am very happy and content with it just being the two of us, so it’s definitely time that I wait on Him. It’s time I trust in Him. The Lord will bring someone my way when I’m ready. I just need to heal, be happy in my own skin and enjoy life. Live the life I love, as my ace gurl always says. I know now that I don’t need a man to make me happy or complete me. He should complement me. Someone that is equally yoked. I have my daughter and she’s all I need. Yes, I would love to get married one day, but that’ll come in time, when the Lord knows I’m ready. When He knows I can be a great wife to someone as well. If it doesn’t, that’s OK too, but I still choose to wait.

 

 

Milah ♥

 

 

 

Thrifty Thursdee 

“Playing dress-up begins at age five and never truly ends.” —Kate Spade

Have you ever been so proud of yourself for something you accomplished, that you can’t believe you actually did it??

Now it’s not on the level of having my daughter, but it’s high up there! It may seem like a minor ting to someone else but I could care less. All the steps I take bring me closer to where I want to be. It feels good to have started to do things I enjoy. That being said check out the link below!!

 Thrifty Thursdee Wif Milah I have my own spot on Bermemes, *Insert girly squeal* and it’s centered around thrifting and fashion!!

 

 Anyone that knows me at least a teensy bit will realise I love a lil thrifting and I’m definitely into fashion. Big shout out to Bermemes for the opportunity though for real for real!!

When I hear the word ‘fashion’ I immediately think of clothing and fabrics of all different colours and prints and textures. I think of all the possible outfits I could create. Putting together an outfit is my work of art.  Clothing is where I show my creativity the most. I still play dress up and I love putting together different outfits just for the fun of it.

I have always loved fashion from young. I’m an 80’s baby so I definitely owned the Fashion Plates toy. I even wanted to be a fashion designer. Not sure I’ve even told anyone that, but yeah, I did.  I did go through a tom boyish stage, however my love for fashion has been everlasting.

I would actually love to be a stylist or image consultant if that was possible. I mean I know it is, but if I had to work for free, that’s something I would gladly do. Now, I’d also love to own my own boutique and charity shop/thrift store and I intend on that dream becoming a reality! Fashion is a passion that I have never really shared until now. I’ve always wanted to blog about it for quite some time. I mean, I’ve had my WordPress account for about 7 years now and I’m finally utilizing it. Better late than never yeah?

So anywho, welcome to my fashion and style world!! I’m going to come out of my shell. I feel like I was a quiet fashionista so now it’s time to get a lil louder. Why be quiet about something you love?!

Milah ♡

Carpe My Diem

car·pe di·em  –  used to urge someone to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

So many of us say this, but how many of us actually do this?? Well this chick right here is seizing her day. I am taking FULL advantage of each day that I am gifted (I’m trying to anyway lol!!) But seriously though. I am a 34 year old, single mother of a beautiful daughter and I have no time to waste. It took me a while, but I’m ready to do what I love. I’m ready to walk in my purpose. I’m ready to build my empire.

When my daughter gets older, she will know that anything is possible, no matter the circumstances. I will be her Wonder Woman. Her example of a strong, independent woman that may have made mistakes in life and stumbled here and there, but a woman that grew and evolved. A woman who recognized her worth and knows that she is a queen. Women are the bearers of life! We are royalty!! It’s time we go for what’s ours. Milahn, my daughter, will know this. She will understand this. She will watch her mommy build an empire for us. So that being said, I realised that if I’m going to accomplish my goals, a change needs to first happen within. I need to have my mind right. I have to let go of negative thoughts and behaviour, self doubt and insecurities. I especially need to love myself and that entails letting go of anything that will not help me to prosper. Whether it’s bad habits or bad company I need to let it go. I need to respect myself and make wise decisions. I have a daughter now and I refuse to set a bad example.

I told myself if I’m going to build an empire I need to start now.  Now when I say empire, I’m referring to me accomplishing my goals and getting to my desired level of success.  I always thought I would need a better job, make more money etc, etc to accomplish my goals. But that is not the case!

I was in church this past weekend and the sermon was about focus, time and working with what you have. You see, we have to constantly remain focused and recognise that we can’t waste time doing things that don’t relate to where we’re trying to go. If you want to be a great footballer, you’re not going to spend precious time playing basketball when you could be doing football drills would you? You also would not spend a whole lot of time around people that don’t understand or respect that you’re trying to accomplish certain things. Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. (ESV) You need good people and like minded people around you. People that actually care, who will listen to you and encourage you. But they will also give you constructive criticism and they will tell you the things you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

You also need to work with what you have. One cannot master more if he cannot master less. I used to be guilty of this and now I understand perfectly. How can I want that promotion yet I don’t even fully understand the work I’m currently doing?? So keeping these things in mind, I am taking full advantage of the things that I have and I’m going to master the level I’m at now until I’m able to get to a next level. I’ll share with you one of my goals so you may understand a bit better.

You may or may not know, but I’m a YouTuber. I started my channel in 2013 and I wasn’t really sure at first what I was going to do with it. Now I have my vision and my plan. I won’t divulge the details just yet, but I want to get a good following on YouTube and really build my channel up.

yt-creators-silver-rewards

This is a YouTube play button award. The silver is for YouTubers that have 100,000 subscribers and I am going to get one of these. I am DETERMINED and I know I can do it. At present I have 120 subscribers and that excites me. I don’t have the pretty backgrounds and all of the best equipment, but I have a great camera. A Canon which is great for creating videos and I have an iPhone that I can use to vlog, as well as my iMac to edit my videos on. I don’t have a tripod yet so I improvise. I have a start. It’s all about working with what I have and being able to come up with original content, creating videos, editing them and being consistent. I’m trying to find the balance to do all of this though. Because I’m a new mother, it’s a little harder since I live alone. I’m looking for a new job as well so I have to utilise my time wisely, especially once I’m back to work full time.

As I write this, my daughter is currently napping and I’m hoping to finish before she wakes. I have laundry to fold and my hair needs to  be done, plus I have other things that need to be done for my YouTube channel. All of this I need to master and I will. I refuse to make excuses and I refuse to give up. Each day that comes, I will make continuous strides towards my empire. My daughter deserves a head start, and this she will get!

Stay tuned luvlies!! xo

It Was Time To Come Home

As you may know, I was living in London for a year and some months. When I became pregnant I actually didn’t intend on coming back to Bermuda for a few years. My partner, who is also Bermudian, had no real intentions of leaving London either.

I figured I would come home when my daughter was maybe 4 or 5 years old. I didn’t want to separate father and child, but as my pregnancy went on something changed.

London wasn’t home. It was ok for me, a 30 something seeking adventure, but for my baby, no. Quality of life in London was ok as well. We lived in a really nice flat and comfortable area. The hospital and doctor’s office was very close by. The High St was not even a minute away and the bus and train links were excellent.

Sutton High St… 17 weeks pregnant.

Thing is, I wanted her to experience what we had coming up as kids. I wanted her to be able to have a yard to play in and to feel the sunlight on her little toes. I wouldn’t have to go far so she can play in the ocean and build little sand castles on the pink sandy beaches.

IMG_3571
Back in Bermuda! First swim in over a year.

She would get to see the Gombeys and eat snowballs, and enjoy what island life has to offer. More importantly though, she would get to be around family.

 

My mum aka Bibi and I. ❣

 

I discussed with my child’s father my feelings and concerns regarding staying and raising our daughter in London. Financially it would have been pretty difficult even though we were both working. I am not one to want to live off of benefits, so I was not trying to go that route. In Bermuda, the cost of living is very high, however you can make a very good wage. You may struggle, but the struggle is much easier compared to the struggles of London.

Then it came down to our support systems. We had little to no family and very little friends in London. Our mothers would have to fly out for the birth and I can say with no hesitation,  I would have been depressed when they left, had we stayed in London.

I have to say he was super understanding and agreed it was best for us to return to Bermuda. I was soooo frickin relieved after that. I knew I would miss London, but having my first child in Bermuda became a no brainer. Once the decision was made, my pregnancy became really real after that. I was getting more excited and couldn’t wait to be back home.

I knew there would be much sacrifice and we were taking a leap of faith, but we both stepped out on faith when we left Bermuda and we were able to survive in London. Coming back to Bermuda would be easy as it’s home and so far so good.

I was hoping to be temping upon my return, however that didn’t work out as planned. I’m not used to not working so it did get me down a bit, however the free time has enabled me to work on my YouTube channel as well as my blogs. Now my due date is fast approaching so no work for me until February/March.  It hasn’t always been easy, but I have the support of my family and friends and it has been greatly appreciated.

I suppose you could say coming home was one of the first major decisions I made as a mother and I truly have no regrets.

 

Milah xo