Where Do I Begin?

Hey luvlies! How’s life treating everyone? I hope you are well. 🙂

I’ve had a ton of things on my mind lately and I hope this post will resonate with someone. Especially the single moms, or the mommas period, that are entrepreneurs or want to be entrepreneurs.

I’m currently in bed, and nursing Milahn while I type this. I can barely see the keyboard, it’s going on for ten o’clock and I’m fighting sleep. I should stop and finish later, but I really want to get this post done now.

…………

Um…….. I fell asleep. It’s now 3:40 am. Let’s start again.

So recently, I decided to get to work on my passion projects. No more procrastinating. No more being envious of others accomplishing their goals. I’m even taking on this mindset when it comes to my professional developement at work. No more saying, ‘I’ll start when I have more money’ or ‘It’s not the right time’.

I mean damn, time waits for no one and I am bored and feeling mighty unfulfilled. I have settled when it came to a lot of things in the past, and I still do from time to time, but not this time. This is something I will regret if I don’t at least try.

The good thing about maturity, you recognise when you’re putting things off and you can be honest about why. Let’s keep it 100. I’m a single momma who has more debt than money, but I want to grow my business and provide value. You need money. You need that capital, and right now I don’t have much of that.

Now in my last post I mentioned I am starting a business. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m going to launch a pop up shop and I’m working on my own T-Shirt line. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for yearssss. I actually gave it a go a few years ago, but I didn’t stick to it. That’s all I will share for now, but there’s a lot more that I’m working on!

So where do I begin?

First off, I’m getting myself organised. I’m a note taker and I love to make lists. I write down just about everything. I will normally date it as well. I find this helps me to see if I have made any progress, from the time I initially wrote down my goal or idea.

So what I recently did was this. I went through my bag and took out all the notebooks and sticky notes and threw away what I didn’t need. I threw away the stray papers and got rid of the clutter. I have a notebook for each passion project and for the podcasts I listen to. I believe that you need to keep your thoughts and ideas organised. There should be designated notebooks for each project you are working on. It’s just like when you’re in school. You don’t work on your maths in your history book right?

I also decided to step out and start networking. It may be small steps mind you lol, but I’m trying. I created my Instagram page for my business. I haven’t posted much, but I’m working on that. I am just glad I stopped putting off creating it. I’m spending a lot more time on LinkedIn as well. This is also to help with my professional developement. I will be completely honest. I am definitely seeking other employment opportunities. I would like to be professionally and financially fulfilled. I have my daughter to consider and I will work my ass off to get my designations if that’s what it takes. I will bust my ass to get my business up and running as well. There’s so many women entrepreneurs doing big things! If they can do it, so can I and so can YOU.

My last lil nugget I want to share is this. READ!!! Start reading.

There’s a wealth of knowledge out there. You have to be hungry for it and seek it out. I’m one that loves books, but ever since I had Milahn, I can’t seem to find the time to read. Well guess what hunny, that’s about to change! I currently have at least ten books in my Amazon cart to purchase.

Listening to podcasts is extremely helpful as well! I’ve been listening to Side Hustle Pro and Myleik Teele’s podcast!! These are everything and more. I’ve gained valuable knowledge just by listening to them. If you can’t do anything else, at least listen to some of them. Seriously.

I have one last thing to share for now.

I turn to my Father, Jehovah. I lean on Him. I talk to Him daily, but not enough. I don’t lean on my own understanding. I don’t make rash decisions. Not anymore. If I’m feeling discouraged, distracted or lost, I turn to Him. On a daily basis I am reading my Bible plans. I’m reading the word more and more and strengthening my relationship with God. I can’t do anything without Him. From the last season to this season, I know it’s because of God that I’m not where I used to be. Last year was so so painful. One day I may share in more detail, but for now, take my word for it. The stress was real. You can see in my pictures from last summer how I lost so much weight. But I am more than a conqueror.

Imay have went off tpoic a bit, but it can never be said too many times. To all the women going through things, be encouraged! No matter how alone you feel, you are NEVER alone. Never. You are strong. You are brave. You are loved!

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

Thanks for reading luvlies. Be blessed.

x

Advertisements

I Choose To Wait



” But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

I now understand this, and this is to my Queens especially! It took a very recent heartbreak and the emotional pain that goes with it, to finally comprehend what it means to ‘wait on the Lord’. I’m not sure I even realized how much pain I was in. I wasn’t dealing with it. I didn’t know how to. I just had a baby. I just wanted to work things out with my daughter’s dad, as most women do. But it wasn’t meant to be. Now that wasn’t the heartbreaking part. It was certain things that happened after I made the decision to walk away from the ‘situationship’. I won’t get into any details, but I realise now I should have made better choices at the end of the day. I should have waited on the Lord. I’m such a patient person, just at the wrong times, for the wrong things and people.

For the last 17 years I have not been single though. SEVENTEEN YEARS!!! I’m now 34 and this coming December I will be 35. So yeah, it took me a while, but I now get it. Oh, and it’s not like no one hasn’t gave me good advice and told me to enjoy my own company, be by myself and enjoy my space. A guy actually first told me that! Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

The longest relationship I’ve been in was about 9-10 years on and off in total. That relationship should have probably ended sooner rather than later, but so it goes. Then with my daughter’s dad, that was on and off for 5 years.  That should have ended years ago, but silly me, I said nahhhh. I can change him. He’ll give me what I want if I show him I’m a prize. If I put in the work he’ll come around. Well slap me silly because I definitely wasn’t showing him I was a prize. I thought I was, at first anyway, but I had some growing up to do. I was moaning about his behaviour but never held myself accountable for mine. I chased him and never let him chase me. But as it goes, I’ve done my pack and made silly choices and mistakes in life. Not everyone has, lucky them, but for me, it has helped me to grow.  I remember a friend of mine (a male) told me to humble myself and maybe try dating a different fella from what I’d been accustomed to. Do you know my silly self got mad?? He was right though!! Thank God for hindsight because gee wiz.  I honestly thought I had it all together (lol) and I definitely didn’t. I mean we’re imperfect creatures, but same time, I wanted someone to change and didn’t realise the changes needed to come from within first and foremost.

See, I’m the type that falls hard and fast when I’m really interested in the person.  I clearly would fall for the wrong ones and not get a commitment. It was always ‘bad timing’. That’s what happens when we don’t wait on the Lord’s timing. I wanted a committed relationship so so badly though, and of course I sought attention from the wrong ones. It’s what females do at some point in their lives.  I guess I was looking for love, I’m not sure though…but what’s done is done.

A guy I was cool with once told me if I had my dad in my life I wouldn’t have made certain decisions. This guy just happened to stalk me so I didn’t pay him much mind, but I do think his comment holds some weight.  However thanks be to Jah, my dad and I have a great relationship now!! I feel my daughter is the reason for that too. I had to wait a while, but I got my daddy and heck if I’m letting go! I even see that my standards have changed. My dad gives me that much needed insight and I am so grateful for that.

So anywho, I say all that because I now understand. Wait on the Lord!!  Even if you’re not religious/spiritual, just wait.  When it comes to relationships and getting involved with people, Queens, you know we do stupid things at times. We make silly choices that are not in our favour!! We will wait on a man that has no intention of marriage or doesn’t even commit to being a boyfriend!! Kudos to the Queens that don’t have these issues, however a lot of us do. We really need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives and the choices we make. We deserve so much more but settle for less and in turn break our own hearts. We must look within but at the same time we cannot beat ourselves up. It’s OK to walk away. It’s OK to let go.

For me it has taken heartache. That gut wrenching heartache where it hurts so bad you are too afraid to ever love again. You cry out to the Lord to make it stop. You lose sleep, you don’t eat or you wonder why you’re not good enough and so on. I’m not even trying to be dramatic either. I just know I’m not the only one that’s gone/going through this. I’m so afraid of another broken heart, I really and truly am.  I don’t know how long it’ll take, but it will have to take divine intervention for me to even consider trying that thing called love again. So waiting on the Lord it is. Recognizing that enough is really enough and recognizing my worth has helped. I had to recognize it was time to heal; time to have that peace of mind. My peace of mind is very valuable to me now and I will protect it. I have to make wiser decisions going forward. Not only for myself but for my daughter’s benefit.

I have my daughter and I am very happy and content with it just being the two of us, so it’s definitely time that I wait on Him. It’s time I trust in Him. The Lord will bring someone my way when I’m ready. I just need to heal, be happy in my own skin and enjoy life. Live the life I love, as my ace gurl always says. I know now that I don’t need a man to make me happy or complete me. He should complement me. Someone that is equally yoked. I have my daughter and she’s all I need. Yes, I would love to get married one day, but that’ll come in time, when the Lord knows I’m ready. When He knows I can be a great wife to someone as well. If it doesn’t, that’s OK too, but I still choose to wait.

 

 

Milah ♥