Where Do I Begin?

Hey luvlies! How’s life treating everyone? I hope you are well. 🙂

I’ve had a ton of things on my mind lately and I hope this post will resonate with someone. Especially the single moms, or the mommas period, that are entrepreneurs or want to be entrepreneurs.

I’m currently in bed, and nursing Milahn while I type this. I can barely see the keyboard, it’s going on for ten o’clock and I’m fighting sleep. I should stop and finish later, but I really want to get this post done now.

…………

Um…….. I fell asleep. It’s now 3:40 am. Let’s start again.

So recently, I decided to get to work on my passion projects. No more procrastinating. No more being envious of others accomplishing their goals. I’m even taking on this mindset when it comes to my professional developement at work. No more saying, ‘I’ll start when I have more money’ or ‘It’s not the right time’.

I mean damn, time waits for no one and I am bored and feeling mighty unfulfilled. I have settled when it came to a lot of things in the past, and I still do from time to time, but not this time. This is something I will regret if I don’t at least try.

The good thing about maturity, you recognise when you’re putting things off and you can be honest about why. Let’s keep it 100. I’m a single momma who has more debt than money, but I want to grow my business and provide value. You need money. You need that capital, and right now I don’t have much of that.

Now in my last post I mentioned I am starting a business. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m going to launch a pop up shop and I’m working on my own T-Shirt line. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for yearssss. I actually gave it a go a few years ago, but I didn’t stick to it. That’s all I will share for now, but there’s a lot more that I’m working on!

So where do I begin?

First off, I’m getting myself organised. I’m a note taker and I love to make lists. I write down just about everything. I will normally date it as well. I find this helps me to see if I have made any progress, from the time I initially wrote down my goal or idea.

So what I recently did was this. I went through my bag and took out all the notebooks and sticky notes and threw away what I didn’t need. I threw away the stray papers and got rid of the clutter. I have a notebook for each passion project and for the podcasts I listen to. I believe that you need to keep your thoughts and ideas organised. There should be designated notebooks for each project you are working on. It’s just like when you’re in school. You don’t work on your maths in your history book right?

I also decided to step out and start networking. It may be small steps mind you lol, but I’m trying. I created my Instagram page for my business. I haven’t posted much, but I’m working on that. I am just glad I stopped putting off creating it. I’m spending a lot more time on LinkedIn as well. This is also to help with my professional developement. I will be completely honest. I am definitely seeking other employment opportunities. I would like to be professionally and financially fulfilled. I have my daughter to consider and I will work my ass off to get my designations if that’s what it takes. I will bust my ass to get my business up and running as well. There’s so many women entrepreneurs doing big things! If they can do it, so can I and so can YOU.

My last lil nugget I want to share is this. READ!!! Start reading.

There’s a wealth of knowledge out there. You have to be hungry for it and seek it out. I’m one that loves books, but ever since I had Milahn, I can’t seem to find the time to read. Well guess what hunny, that’s about to change! I currently have at least ten books in my Amazon cart to purchase.

Listening to podcasts is extremely helpful as well! I’ve been listening to Side Hustle Pro and Myleik Teele’s podcast!! These are everything and more. I’ve gained valuable knowledge just by listening to them. If you can’t do anything else, at least listen to some of them. Seriously.

I have one last thing to share for now.

I turn to my Father, Jehovah. I lean on Him. I talk to Him daily, but not enough. I don’t lean on my own understanding. I don’t make rash decisions. Not anymore. If I’m feeling discouraged, distracted or lost, I turn to Him. On a daily basis I am reading my Bible plans. I’m reading the word more and more and strengthening my relationship with God. I can’t do anything without Him. From the last season to this season, I know it’s because of God that I’m not where I used to be. Last year was so so painful. One day I may share in more detail, but for now, take my word for it. The stress was real. You can see in my pictures from last summer how I lost so much weight. But I am more than a conqueror.

Imay have went off tpoic a bit, but it can never be said too many times. To all the women going through things, be encouraged! No matter how alone you feel, you are NEVER alone. Never. You are strong. You are brave. You are loved!

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

Thanks for reading luvlies. Be blessed.

x

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Blogfection In Progress.. .

Listen.. Listen… Listen

Firstly hi. Hi to anyone that reads this, and if you don’t, thanks for popping by anyway.

So yeah. I haven’t posted in a while, blah, blah, blah. I’m a single momma who doesn’t know how to really get in a lot of ‘Me‘ time. I work full time, take care of home…etc etc.  It is what it is.  I’m writing something now though dammit and someone better read it. Please?  🙂  Thanks!

Lol…Anywho.

I’m here trying to edit, I’m sorry customize, this blog.  I finally grew up and upgraded my plan. I totally used money from the grocery fund to pay for it too. Sighs. I am on a tight ass momma budget, but so it goes. I thank the Lord for His continued grace and favour though, because goodness! He knows it gets tight each month.

Now back to trying to customize this blog. I don’t know what the heck I am doing. I’m not understanding what the categories are for. But as I write this, I think I just answered my own question. Duh.

But seriously, I look at the different themes, see one I like and click ‘save and publish’. I view mine and I’m like ummm what? It obviously doesn’t look the same, but it’s like it’s so incomplete. Something is missing. I think I might delete some of my previous posts as well, but I’m not sure.

Either way, I want my blog to be pretty and um, interesting? I don’t want an ugly blog.  I realllly don’t. UGH. So don’t get used to the way it looks. It’s in a transition stage. Like when you’re growing your natural hair out and it still has permed ends? You know how it goes? Ok, well even if you don’t, Google it.

So yeah…until next time!

 

Milah x

 

I Choose To Wait



” But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

I now understand this, and this is to my Queens especially! It took a very recent heartbreak and the emotional pain that goes with it, to finally comprehend what it means to ‘wait on the Lord’. I’m not sure I even realized how much pain I was in. I wasn’t dealing with it. I didn’t know how to. I just had a baby. I just wanted to work things out with my daughter’s dad, as most women do. But it wasn’t meant to be. Now that wasn’t the heartbreaking part. It was certain things that happened after I made the decision to walk away from the ‘situationship’. I won’t get into any details, but I realise now I should have made better choices at the end of the day. I should have waited on the Lord. I’m such a patient person, just at the wrong times, for the wrong things and people.

For the last 17 years I have not been single though. SEVENTEEN YEARS!!! I’m now 34 and this coming December I will be 35. So yeah, it took me a while, but I now get it. Oh, and it’s not like no one hasn’t gave me good advice and told me to enjoy my own company, be by myself and enjoy my space. A guy actually first told me that! Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

The longest relationship I’ve been in was about 9-10 years on and off in total. That relationship should have probably ended sooner rather than later, but so it goes. Then with my daughter’s dad, that was on and off for 5 years.  That should have ended years ago, but silly me, I said nahhhh. I can change him. He’ll give me what I want if I show him I’m a prize. If I put in the work he’ll come around. Well slap me silly because I definitely wasn’t showing him I was a prize. I thought I was, at first anyway, but I had some growing up to do. I was moaning about his behaviour but never held myself accountable for mine. I chased him and never let him chase me. But as it goes, I’ve done my pack and made silly choices and mistakes in life. Not everyone has, lucky them, but for me, it has helped me to grow.  I remember a friend of mine (a male) told me to humble myself and maybe try dating a different fella from what I’d been accustomed to. Do you know my silly self got mad?? He was right though!! Thank God for hindsight because gee wiz.  I honestly thought I had it all together (lol) and I definitely didn’t. I mean we’re imperfect creatures, but same time, I wanted someone to change and didn’t realise the changes needed to come from within first and foremost.

See, I’m the type that falls hard and fast when I’m really interested in the person.  I clearly would fall for the wrong ones and not get a commitment. It was always ‘bad timing’. That’s what happens when we don’t wait on the Lord’s timing. I wanted a committed relationship so so badly though, and of course I sought attention from the wrong ones. It’s what females do at some point in their lives.  I guess I was looking for love, I’m not sure though…but what’s done is done.

A guy I was cool with once told me if I had my dad in my life I wouldn’t have made certain decisions. This guy just happened to stalk me so I didn’t pay him much mind, but I do think his comment holds some weight.  However thanks be to Jah, my dad and I have a great relationship now!! I feel my daughter is the reason for that too. I had to wait a while, but I got my daddy and heck if I’m letting go! I even see that my standards have changed. My dad gives me that much needed insight and I am so grateful for that.

So anywho, I say all that because I now understand. Wait on the Lord!!  Even if you’re not religious/spiritual, just wait.  When it comes to relationships and getting involved with people, Queens, you know we do stupid things at times. We make silly choices that are not in our favour!! We will wait on a man that has no intention of marriage or doesn’t even commit to being a boyfriend!! Kudos to the Queens that don’t have these issues, however a lot of us do. We really need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives and the choices we make. We deserve so much more but settle for less and in turn break our own hearts. We must look within but at the same time we cannot beat ourselves up. It’s OK to walk away. It’s OK to let go.

For me it has taken heartache. That gut wrenching heartache where it hurts so bad you are too afraid to ever love again. You cry out to the Lord to make it stop. You lose sleep, you don’t eat or you wonder why you’re not good enough and so on. I’m not even trying to be dramatic either. I just know I’m not the only one that’s gone/going through this. I’m so afraid of another broken heart, I really and truly am.  I don’t know how long it’ll take, but it will have to take divine intervention for me to even consider trying that thing called love again. So waiting on the Lord it is. Recognizing that enough is really enough and recognizing my worth has helped. I had to recognize it was time to heal; time to have that peace of mind. My peace of mind is very valuable to me now and I will protect it. I have to make wiser decisions going forward. Not only for myself but for my daughter’s benefit.

I have my daughter and I am very happy and content with it just being the two of us, so it’s definitely time that I wait on Him. It’s time I trust in Him. The Lord will bring someone my way when I’m ready. I just need to heal, be happy in my own skin and enjoy life. Live the life I love, as my ace gurl always says. I know now that I don’t need a man to make me happy or complete me. He should complement me. Someone that is equally yoked. I have my daughter and she’s all I need. Yes, I would love to get married one day, but that’ll come in time, when the Lord knows I’m ready. When He knows I can be a great wife to someone as well. If it doesn’t, that’s OK too, but I still choose to wait.

 

 

Milah ♥

 

 

 

This Week

 

Let me tell you about last week.

Last week I was so damn tired and so damn sad.

Last week I was heartbroken and weary and stressed to the max.

What a week it was. The last few weeks to be honest.

But this week here… this week is different!!

This week I’m different!

This week I’m excited!

This week I’m feeling energised and free!

So this is the week..this week I’m moving forward!

♥ Being a single mum isn’t easy, but I refuse to let it get me down. It won’t always be easy, but it certainly won’t always be difficult either. All my worries and fears I need to let go of. Starting NOW. Life is too short to be stressed and unhappy. I have a beautiful daughter and we have a bright future ahead. She reminds me of that on a daily basis.♥

Starting this week I will take it day by day and live the life I love.

I will tell myself every day that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

This week here… this week is the start of greater things to come.

So this week….. and the next, I choose happiness.

 

 

Milah xo

#SaveAndSlayBDA – The Cup Match Edition: Part 2

So there we have it.

I went and I slayed.

THIS is what I wore to Cup Match. I ended up only going the second day though. My ace girl had to get the finishing touches on her outfit completed, so my daughter and I tagged along. Plus I needed to do my holiday cooking, so it worked out fine.

I’m sure you’re wondering from part 1, ‘Did she actually save any money??’ Whelp! I had an outfit all picked out for the first day. Something out of my closet too. There were a few things I saw in Flying Colours but I said nahhhh. So I definitely saved there.

When we get to day 2 though.. Hmm. I feel like I actually did save. I did have my outfit made, but all I had to really buy was the material, a zipper, hook and eye and my sandals. The head piece I wore I actually got from a crafts store and I wore accessories I already had. The purse and sunglasses I already had as well. There was no need to buy anything else. That being said, this outfit is an original. No one else has it. That in itself is priceless.

So all in all, I’m reallyyy happy with how everything turned out and going forward I’ll be getting loads of things made. I actually want to take sewing lessons, then I’ll save even more money. I’m more inspired than ever before, so stay tuned for what’s to come!! #SlayBDA.

 

Milah xo

 

#SaveAndSlayBDA The Cup Match Edition: Part 1

So, as I glance at my calendar, I mentally take note, and maybe freak out just a teensy bit at the realization that Cup Match is next fattin week! Time surely waits for no man. One of the biggest holidays in Bermuda is almost here.

Cup Match aka Emancipation Day and Somers’ Day is July 28th and 29th this year. It’s two glorious days of cricket, beaching, good food and of course music, rum and let’s not forget a lil Crown n Anchor action happening. Here’s something useful to note, Cup Match is always on a Thursday and Friday. That’s a nice long weekend for you. You can’t go wrong. If you want to visit, just fly in the Wednesday evening and fly out on the Monday. Bang!

Now, I normally attend both days and I’m also one of those people (It’s a lot of us. I’m just sayin…)  that like to get something new for the second day.  Now, I only went back to work in May and I now have my daughter, so clearly I’m on that mommy budget or my #SaveAndSlay budget as I like to call it. Just because I have to watch my coins though doesn’t mean I can’t slay it up a bit. I also missed the last 2 Cup Matches as I was in London, England so you know I’m trying to do it up just a bit.

So all that being said, I’ve decided for Day 1, I won’t be ordering anything online. I will be buying my outfit from either the thrift stores and/or tourist shops. They have some nice things in the tourist shops. Don’t sleep on them, real talk. I’ll be going to the Barn of course and I’ll probably stop by Orange Bay and the Upstairs Closet. I had popped into Flying Colours and Davison’s on my lunch break the other day and listen…. Davison’s will definitely be seeing me from time to time.

 

I’m thinking I should really get this…..


You can tell who my team is right?? #StGeorgesALLDAY

 

 

I definitely want one of these. They cost around $45…
All of these purses are at Davison’s by the ferry terminal.
Too cute!!

Now… As for Day 2…. You’re going to have to wait and see! I actually gave a sneak peek on my Snapchat the other day, so follow me on there – Milahstarr. Again, I won’t be ordering anything online, so make sure you follow me on social media to see what I come up with!! I’m really excited about this actually and will do a quick reveal early on the second day.

Stay tuned luvlies!!

 

Milah xo

I’m Still Here

I know I know. I’ve been missing. I post a few things here and there and then I go ghost.

I haven’t written anything in a while. I haven’t been on social media much either. I barely go on Facebook (because it’s been damn depressing!!) and I’ve only just recently posted a pic or two on FB and Instagram. But you can catch me on Snapchat lol, holla at me! I’m a mommy now and my daughter comes first. It’s self-explanatory right? She is my everything and that’s that. Don’t get me wrong, I am currently trying to find that balance.  I mean shoot, I have dreams and I have goals, but lately they’ve been pushed to the back burner. I have loads of projects to do, but it’s just finding the time to do them. When I was at home and my daughter was small and less mobile, clearly I had more time. Why don’t I have the time?  Whelp, I’m back at work to answer your question. Since May 11th. That’s why I’m trying to find that balance.

Yesss hunty (or bredren), I got me a j-o-b and it feels some sort of good!! Praise Jah!! Won’t He do it?!

img_1544
Lord knows I was very anxious to get a job. I will have to share my testimony one day for sure. This has been quite a journey and I hope I will be able to inspire others. Even if it’s just one person.

So any who, I’m at another  insurance company and I’m definitely enjoying this new role. It’s currently a 6 month contract so we shall see what happens in the near future. I’m going to use every bit of experience I gain to my advantage, but all I can say is the Lord is working things out. While He does His part, I’ll keep doing my part. My daughter is counting on me!

SO! That being said, I’m now able to support my baby. I feel like a big girl every time I pay my daughter’s nursery fees. Side note: I’ll have to share my feelings on being away from her in another post. Fackin right I miss her chunky cheeks! But being able to buy her food, clothing and pay for the things she needs gives me a sense of accomplishment. I’m a single mum and I gotta do what I gots to do! I’m a very independent person, so having to depend on someone irks my soul. Obviously we can’t do anything in life without some type of assistance, but you get what I’m saying.

NOW…. having said that, I am back. I am back on my grind yo. I am here to build. Ain’t nobody gonna build my empire but moi. I am learning daily and I am building daily. It’s not always easy to stay motivated and to ignore unwanted distractions, but it has to be done. I’m not one to sit and let opportunity pass me by and I sure as heck don’t like those feelings of regret; the woudla, coulda, shoulda thoughts. Nahhh, I got no time for that.

So here I am. Milah, a single working mum, who could have lost herself and her dreams, but found herself before too many years passed her by. I don’t want to be that mum who gives it ALL up and doesn’t at least hold on to one dream. I’m already 34 and I feel like I’m starting late as it is, but I believe in God’s timing. I believe things happen exactly when they should, and now seems like a pretty darn good time to keep on trucking and make some dreams come true.

 

Mums around the world..Don’t lose yourself..Don’t forget yourself. ♥

 

Milah aka Mommy xo