Watch My Progress

Good morning, good evening and good afternoon.

So let me get right to it. It’s 12:31am… Wednesday morning, when I start writing this post. Who knows when I will actually finish and post this, but that’s the norm.

I’ve been giving some thought as to what my purpose is. Actually I’m always wondering what my purpose is and I am confident that I am still no closer to answering that question. 🙂

That brings to me to this blog. How does it tie in with my purpose?

Initially, I suppose I created this blog to share my personal journey of motherhood and other cutesy things. But clearly that hasn’t been happening. No worries. Life happens. I am busy being a mother. A single working mother. So my time is definitely limited. I am realllyyy working on some balance. But I’m not sure that even exists. How the heck do you find the time? Moms across the universe, PLEASE tell me how.

One thing I am certain of though is that I want to inspire, motivate and uplift. I’ve felt this way for a few years now. We have all been through hard times, heartbreak, loneliness etc. and I know I didn’t go through my trials and tribulations in vain.

With that in mind, I decided to start a Facebook group. Queens In Progress. I legit just started it. I want to help. I want to be that listening ear. We can inspire and motivate one another, as well as share knowledge.

I feel this is a step in the right direction in fulfilling my purpose. I am finally making moves instead of just making plans.

So with time being one of my main issues, I decided to de clutter my social media. I’m not done just yet, but I am making sure I am going to be using the necessary platforms that will allow me to reach specific goals. I even deleted some people from Facebook. Like why are we even ‘friends’? I’m going to do the same on Instagram as well. If it’s not conducive to where I’m going, erm, delete. It’s nothing personal, but I’m starting anew.

I’m still in the process of customizing this blog. I can’t see myself adding content when I don’t like how my blog looks. Ovbiously I will still post though. From there I will figure out exactly what the purpose of this blog is and the content I will be sharing. I honestly feel like deleting a lot of my previous posts but we shall see.

I’m a mother, a blogger and business woman. Yes. I’m starting my own business, so I definitely have no time to waste. I need to build up my brand and if that means starting from scratch then so be it.

It’s now or never.

Watch my progress.

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Blogfection In Progress.. .

Listen.. Listen… Listen

Firstly hi. Hi to anyone that reads this, and if you don’t, thanks for popping by anyway.

So yeah. I haven’t posted in a while, blah, blah, blah. I’m a single momma who doesn’t know how to really get in a lot of ‘Me‘ time. I work full time, take care of home…etc etc.  It is what it is.  I’m writing something now though dammit and someone better read it. Please?  🙂  Thanks!

Lol…Anywho.

I’m here trying to edit, I’m sorry customize, this blog.  I finally grew up and upgraded my plan. I totally used money from the grocery fund to pay for it too. Sighs. I am on a tight ass momma budget, but so it goes. I thank the Lord for His continued grace and favour though, because goodness! He knows it gets tight each month.

Now back to trying to customize this blog. I don’t know what the heck I am doing. I’m not understanding what the categories are for. But as I write this, I think I just answered my own question. Duh.

But seriously, I look at the different themes, see one I like and click ‘save and publish’. I view mine and I’m like ummm what? It obviously doesn’t look the same, but it’s like it’s so incomplete. Something is missing. I think I might delete some of my previous posts as well, but I’m not sure.

Either way, I want my blog to be pretty and um, interesting? I don’t want an ugly blog.  I realllly don’t. UGH. So don’t get used to the way it looks. It’s in a transition stage. Like when you’re growing your natural hair out and it still has permed ends? You know how it goes? Ok, well even if you don’t, Google it.

So yeah…until next time!

 

Milah x

 

I Choose To Wait



” But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

I now understand this, and this is to my Queens especially! It took a very recent heartbreak and the emotional pain that goes with it, to finally comprehend what it means to ‘wait on the Lord’. I’m not sure I even realized how much pain I was in. I wasn’t dealing with it. I didn’t know how to. I just had a baby. I just wanted to work things out with my daughter’s dad, as most women do. But it wasn’t meant to be. Now that wasn’t the heartbreaking part. It was certain things that happened after I made the decision to walk away from the ‘situationship’. I won’t get into any details, but I realise now I should have made better choices at the end of the day. I should have waited on the Lord. I’m such a patient person, just at the wrong times, for the wrong things and people.

For the last 17 years I have not been single though. SEVENTEEN YEARS!!! I’m now 34 and this coming December I will be 35. So yeah, it took me a while, but I now get it. Oh, and it’s not like no one hasn’t gave me good advice and told me to enjoy my own company, be by myself and enjoy my space. A guy actually first told me that! Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

The longest relationship I’ve been in was about 9-10 years on and off in total. That relationship should have probably ended sooner rather than later, but so it goes. Then with my daughter’s dad, that was on and off for 5 years.  That should have ended years ago, but silly me, I said nahhhh. I can change him. He’ll give me what I want if I show him I’m a prize. If I put in the work he’ll come around. Well slap me silly because I definitely wasn’t showing him I was a prize. I thought I was, at first anyway, but I had some growing up to do. I was moaning about his behaviour but never held myself accountable for mine. I chased him and never let him chase me. But as it goes, I’ve done my pack and made silly choices and mistakes in life. Not everyone has, lucky them, but for me, it has helped me to grow.  I remember a friend of mine (a male) told me to humble myself and maybe try dating a different fella from what I’d been accustomed to. Do you know my silly self got mad?? He was right though!! Thank God for hindsight because gee wiz.  I honestly thought I had it all together (lol) and I definitely didn’t. I mean we’re imperfect creatures, but same time, I wanted someone to change and didn’t realise the changes needed to come from within first and foremost.

See, I’m the type that falls hard and fast when I’m really interested in the person.  I clearly would fall for the wrong ones and not get a commitment. It was always ‘bad timing’. That’s what happens when we don’t wait on the Lord’s timing. I wanted a committed relationship so so badly though, and of course I sought attention from the wrong ones. It’s what females do at some point in their lives.  I guess I was looking for love, I’m not sure though…but what’s done is done.

A guy I was cool with once told me if I had my dad in my life I wouldn’t have made certain decisions. This guy just happened to stalk me so I didn’t pay him much mind, but I do think his comment holds some weight.  However thanks be to Jah, my dad and I have a great relationship now!! I feel my daughter is the reason for that too. I had to wait a while, but I got my daddy and heck if I’m letting go! I even see that my standards have changed. My dad gives me that much needed insight and I am so grateful for that.

So anywho, I say all that because I now understand. Wait on the Lord!!  Even if you’re not religious/spiritual, just wait.  When it comes to relationships and getting involved with people, Queens, you know we do stupid things at times. We make silly choices that are not in our favour!! We will wait on a man that has no intention of marriage or doesn’t even commit to being a boyfriend!! Kudos to the Queens that don’t have these issues, however a lot of us do. We really need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives and the choices we make. We deserve so much more but settle for less and in turn break our own hearts. We must look within but at the same time we cannot beat ourselves up. It’s OK to walk away. It’s OK to let go.

For me it has taken heartache. That gut wrenching heartache where it hurts so bad you are too afraid to ever love again. You cry out to the Lord to make it stop. You lose sleep, you don’t eat or you wonder why you’re not good enough and so on. I’m not even trying to be dramatic either. I just know I’m not the only one that’s gone/going through this. I’m so afraid of another broken heart, I really and truly am.  I don’t know how long it’ll take, but it will have to take divine intervention for me to even consider trying that thing called love again. So waiting on the Lord it is. Recognizing that enough is really enough and recognizing my worth has helped. I had to recognize it was time to heal; time to have that peace of mind. My peace of mind is very valuable to me now and I will protect it. I have to make wiser decisions going forward. Not only for myself but for my daughter’s benefit.

I have my daughter and I am very happy and content with it just being the two of us, so it’s definitely time that I wait on Him. It’s time I trust in Him. The Lord will bring someone my way when I’m ready. I just need to heal, be happy in my own skin and enjoy life. Live the life I love, as my ace gurl always says. I know now that I don’t need a man to make me happy or complete me. He should complement me. Someone that is equally yoked. I have my daughter and she’s all I need. Yes, I would love to get married one day, but that’ll come in time, when the Lord knows I’m ready. When He knows I can be a great wife to someone as well. If it doesn’t, that’s OK too, but I still choose to wait.

 

 

Milah ♥

 

 

 

This Week

 

Let me tell you about last week.

Last week I was so damn tired and so damn sad.

Last week I was heartbroken and weary and stressed to the max.

What a week it was. The last few weeks to be honest.

But this week here… this week is different!!

This week I’m different!

This week I’m excited!

This week I’m feeling energised and free!

So this is the week..this week I’m moving forward!

♥ Being a single mum isn’t easy, but I refuse to let it get me down. It won’t always be easy, but it certainly won’t always be difficult either. All my worries and fears I need to let go of. Starting NOW. Life is too short to be stressed and unhappy. I have a beautiful daughter and we have a bright future ahead. She reminds me of that on a daily basis.♥

Starting this week I will take it day by day and live the life I love.

I will tell myself every day that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

This week here… this week is the start of greater things to come.

So this week….. and the next, I choose happiness.

 

 

Milah xo

I’m Still Here

I know I know. I’ve been missing. I post a few things here and there and then I go ghost.

I haven’t written anything in a while. I haven’t been on social media much either. I barely go on Facebook (because it’s been damn depressing!!) and I’ve only just recently posted a pic or two on FB and Instagram. But you can catch me on Snapchat lol, holla at me! I’m a mommy now and my daughter comes first. It’s self-explanatory right? She is my everything and that’s that. Don’t get me wrong, I am currently trying to find that balance.  I mean shoot, I have dreams and I have goals, but lately they’ve been pushed to the back burner. I have loads of projects to do, but it’s just finding the time to do them. When I was at home and my daughter was small and less mobile, clearly I had more time. Why don’t I have the time?  Whelp, I’m back at work to answer your question. Since May 11th. That’s why I’m trying to find that balance.

Yesss hunty (or bredren), I got me a j-o-b and it feels some sort of good!! Praise Jah!! Won’t He do it?!

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Lord knows I was very anxious to get a job. I will have to share my testimony one day for sure. This has been quite a journey and I hope I will be able to inspire others. Even if it’s just one person.

So any who, I’m at another  insurance company and I’m definitely enjoying this new role. It’s currently a 6 month contract so we shall see what happens in the near future. I’m going to use every bit of experience I gain to my advantage, but all I can say is the Lord is working things out. While He does His part, I’ll keep doing my part. My daughter is counting on me!

SO! That being said, I’m now able to support my baby. I feel like a big girl every time I pay my daughter’s nursery fees. Side note: I’ll have to share my feelings on being away from her in another post. Fackin right I miss her chunky cheeks! But being able to buy her food, clothing and pay for the things she needs gives me a sense of accomplishment. I’m a single mum and I gotta do what I gots to do! I’m a very independent person, so having to depend on someone irks my soul. Obviously we can’t do anything in life without some type of assistance, but you get what I’m saying.

NOW…. having said that, I am back. I am back on my grind yo. I am here to build. Ain’t nobody gonna build my empire but moi. I am learning daily and I am building daily. It’s not always easy to stay motivated and to ignore unwanted distractions, but it has to be done. I’m not one to sit and let opportunity pass me by and I sure as heck don’t like those feelings of regret; the woudla, coulda, shoulda thoughts. Nahhh, I got no time for that.

So here I am. Milah, a single working mum, who could have lost herself and her dreams, but found herself before too many years passed her by. I don’t want to be that mum who gives it ALL up and doesn’t at least hold on to one dream. I’m already 34 and I feel like I’m starting late as it is, but I believe in God’s timing. I believe things happen exactly when they should, and now seems like a pretty darn good time to keep on trucking and make some dreams come true.

 

Mums around the world..Don’t lose yourself..Don’t forget yourself. ♥

 

Milah aka Mommy xo

Thrifty Thursdee 

“Playing dress-up begins at age five and never truly ends.” —Kate Spade

Have you ever been so proud of yourself for something you accomplished, that you can’t believe you actually did it??

Now it’s not on the level of having my daughter, but it’s high up there! It may seem like a minor ting to someone else but I could care less. All the steps I take bring me closer to where I want to be. It feels good to have started to do things I enjoy. That being said check out the link below!!

 Thrifty Thursdee Wif Milah I have my own spot on Bermemes, *Insert girly squeal* and it’s centered around thrifting and fashion!!

 

 Anyone that knows me at least a teensy bit will realise I love a lil thrifting and I’m definitely into fashion. Big shout out to Bermemes for the opportunity though for real for real!!

When I hear the word ‘fashion’ I immediately think of clothing and fabrics of all different colours and prints and textures. I think of all the possible outfits I could create. Putting together an outfit is my work of art.  Clothing is where I show my creativity the most. I still play dress up and I love putting together different outfits just for the fun of it.

I have always loved fashion from young. I’m an 80’s baby so I definitely owned the Fashion Plates toy. I even wanted to be a fashion designer. Not sure I’ve even told anyone that, but yeah, I did.  I did go through a tom boyish stage, however my love for fashion has been everlasting.

I would actually love to be a stylist or image consultant if that was possible. I mean I know it is, but if I had to work for free, that’s something I would gladly do. Now, I’d also love to own my own boutique and charity shop/thrift store and I intend on that dream becoming a reality! Fashion is a passion that I have never really shared until now. I’ve always wanted to blog about it for quite some time. I mean, I’ve had my WordPress account for about 7 years now and I’m finally utilizing it. Better late than never yeah?

So anywho, welcome to my fashion and style world!! I’m going to come out of my shell. I feel like I was a quiet fashionista so now it’s time to get a lil louder. Why be quiet about something you love?!

Milah ♡

Get To Know Me – 17 Random Questions Tag

Hi luvlies!! I figured I would post this tag so you could get to know me a bit. This was recorded September 2015, after I came back to Bermuda. Check out my channel as well! xx

 

1) Where were you born? Bermuda.

2) Were you named after someone? Nope.

3) When was the last time you cried? The night before.

4) Do you have any kids? I’m expecting my first child. *Updated – A daughter born on November 28th, 2015.

5) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yesss!

6) Do you have any pets? Not yet.

7) Do you use sarcasm? Yes, but not a lot.

8) Would you bungie jump? Hell. No.

9) What is your favorite cereal? Rice Krispies and Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.

10) What is your eye color? Dark Brown.

11) Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings!

12) Do you have any brothers or sisters? Yes, 2 brothers and 2 sisters.

13) Computer or TV? Computer.

14) What is the first thing you notice about a person? Their smell.

15) Favorite smell? Food cooking. Yummm!!

16) Furthest you’ve been away from home? Spain.

17) Do you have any special talents? Ummm….lol my memory for outfits… Don’t judge me.