I’m Still Here

I know I know. I’ve been missing. I post a few things here and there and then I go ghost.

I haven’t written anything in a while. I haven’t been on social media much either. I barely go on Facebook (because it’s been damn depressing!!) and I’ve only just recently posted a pic or two on FB and Instagram. But you can catch me on Snapchat lol, holla at me! I’m a mommy now and my daughter comes first. It’s self-explanatory right? She is my everything and that’s that. Don’t get me wrong, I am currently trying to find that balance.  I mean shoot, I have dreams and I have goals, but lately they’ve been pushed to the back burner. I have loads of projects to do, but it’s just finding the time to do them. When I was at home and my daughter was small and less mobile, clearly I had more time. Why don’t I have the time?  Whelp, I’m back at work to answer your question. Since May 11th. That’s why I’m trying to find that balance.

Yesss hunty (or bredren), I got me a j-o-b and it feels some sort of good!! Praise Jah!! Won’t He do it?!

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Lord knows I was very anxious to get a job. I will have to share my testimony one day for sure. This has been quite a journey and I hope I will be able to inspire others. Even if it’s just one person.

So any who, I’m at another  insurance company and I’m definitely enjoying this new role. It’s currently a 6 month contract so we shall see what happens in the near future. I’m going to use every bit of experience I gain to my advantage, but all I can say is the Lord is working things out. While He does His part, I’ll keep doing my part. My daughter is counting on me!

SO! That being said, I’m now able to support my baby. I feel like a big girl every time I pay my daughter’s nursery fees. Side note: I’ll have to share my feelings on being away from her in another post. Fackin right I miss her chunky cheeks! But being able to buy her food, clothing and pay for the things she needs gives me a sense of accomplishment. I’m a single mum and I gotta do what I gots to do! I’m a very independent person, so having to depend on someone irks my soul. Obviously we can’t do anything in life without some type of assistance, but you get what I’m saying.

NOW…. having said that, I am back. I am back on my grind yo. I am here to build. Ain’t nobody gonna build my empire but moi. I am learning daily and I am building daily. It’s not always easy to stay motivated and to ignore unwanted distractions, but it has to be done. I’m not one to sit and let opportunity pass me by and I sure as heck don’t like those feelings of regret; the woudla, coulda, shoulda thoughts. Nahhh, I got no time for that.

So here I am. Milah, a single working mum, who could have lost herself and her dreams, but found herself before too many years passed her by. I don’t want to be that mum who gives it ALL up and doesn’t at least hold on to one dream. I’m already 34 and I feel like I’m starting late as it is, but I believe in God’s timing. I believe things happen exactly when they should, and now seems like a pretty darn good time to keep on trucking and make some dreams come true.

 

Mums around the world..Don’t lose yourself..Don’t forget yourself. ♥

 

Milah aka Mommy xo

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Thrifty Thursdee 

“Playing dress-up begins at age five and never truly ends.” —Kate Spade

Have you ever been so proud of yourself for something you accomplished, that you can’t believe you actually did it??

Now it’s not on the level of having my daughter, but it’s high up there! It may seem like a minor ting to someone else but I could care less. All the steps I take bring me closer to where I want to be. It feels good to have started to do things I enjoy. That being said check out the link below!!

 Thrifty Thursdee Wif Milah I have my own spot on Bermemes, *Insert girly squeal* and it’s centered around thrifting and fashion!!

 

 Anyone that knows me at least a teensy bit will realise I love a lil thrifting and I’m definitely into fashion. Big shout out to Bermemes for the opportunity though for real for real!!

When I hear the word ‘fashion’ I immediately think of clothing and fabrics of all different colours and prints and textures. I think of all the possible outfits I could create. Putting together an outfit is my work of art.  Clothing is where I show my creativity the most. I still play dress up and I love putting together different outfits just for the fun of it.

I have always loved fashion from young. I’m an 80’s baby so I definitely owned the Fashion Plates toy. I even wanted to be a fashion designer. Not sure I’ve even told anyone that, but yeah, I did.  I did go through a tom boyish stage, however my love for fashion has been everlasting.

I would actually love to be a stylist or image consultant if that was possible. I mean I know it is, but if I had to work for free, that’s something I would gladly do. Now, I’d also love to own my own boutique and charity shop/thrift store and I intend on that dream becoming a reality! Fashion is a passion that I have never really shared until now. I’ve always wanted to blog about it for quite some time. I mean, I’ve had my WordPress account for about 7 years now and I’m finally utilizing it. Better late than never yeah?

So anywho, welcome to my fashion and style world!! I’m going to come out of my shell. I feel like I was a quiet fashionista so now it’s time to get a lil louder. Why be quiet about something you love?!

Milah ♡

Carpe My Diem

car·pe di·em  –  used to urge someone to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

So many of us say this, but how many of us actually do this?? Well this chick right here is seizing her day. I am taking FULL advantage of each day that I am gifted (I’m trying to anyway lol!!) But seriously though. I am a 34 year old, single mother of a beautiful daughter and I have no time to waste. It took me a while, but I’m ready to do what I love. I’m ready to walk in my purpose. I’m ready to build my empire.

When my daughter gets older, she will know that anything is possible, no matter the circumstances. I will be her Wonder Woman. Her example of a strong, independent woman that may have made mistakes in life and stumbled here and there, but a woman that grew and evolved. A woman who recognized her worth and knows that she is a queen. Women are the bearers of life! We are royalty!! It’s time we go for what’s ours. Milahn, my daughter, will know this. She will understand this. She will watch her mommy build an empire for us. So that being said, I realised that if I’m going to accomplish my goals, a change needs to first happen within. I need to have my mind right. I have to let go of negative thoughts and behaviour, self doubt and insecurities. I especially need to love myself and that entails letting go of anything that will not help me to prosper. Whether it’s bad habits or bad company I need to let it go. I need to respect myself and make wise decisions. I have a daughter now and I refuse to set a bad example.

I told myself if I’m going to build an empire I need to start now.  Now when I say empire, I’m referring to me accomplishing my goals and getting to my desired level of success.  I always thought I would need a better job, make more money etc, etc to accomplish my goals. But that is not the case!

I was in church this past weekend and the sermon was about focus, time and working with what you have. You see, we have to constantly remain focused and recognise that we can’t waste time doing things that don’t relate to where we’re trying to go. If you want to be a great footballer, you’re not going to spend precious time playing basketball when you could be doing football drills would you? You also would not spend a whole lot of time around people that don’t understand or respect that you’re trying to accomplish certain things. Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. (ESV) You need good people and like minded people around you. People that actually care, who will listen to you and encourage you. But they will also give you constructive criticism and they will tell you the things you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

You also need to work with what you have. One cannot master more if he cannot master less. I used to be guilty of this and now I understand perfectly. How can I want that promotion yet I don’t even fully understand the work I’m currently doing?? So keeping these things in mind, I am taking full advantage of the things that I have and I’m going to master the level I’m at now until I’m able to get to a next level. I’ll share with you one of my goals so you may understand a bit better.

You may or may not know, but I’m a YouTuber. I started my channel in 2013 and I wasn’t really sure at first what I was going to do with it. Now I have my vision and my plan. I won’t divulge the details just yet, but I want to get a good following on YouTube and really build my channel up.

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This is a YouTube play button award. The silver is for YouTubers that have 100,000 subscribers and I am going to get one of these. I am DETERMINED and I know I can do it. At present I have 120 subscribers and that excites me. I don’t have the pretty backgrounds and all of the best equipment, but I have a great camera. A Canon which is great for creating videos and I have an iPhone that I can use to vlog, as well as my iMac to edit my videos on. I don’t have a tripod yet so I improvise. I have a start. It’s all about working with what I have and being able to come up with original content, creating videos, editing them and being consistent. I’m trying to find the balance to do all of this though. Because I’m a new mother, it’s a little harder since I live alone. I’m looking for a new job as well so I have to utilise my time wisely, especially once I’m back to work full time.

As I write this, my daughter is currently napping and I’m hoping to finish before she wakes. I have laundry to fold and my hair needs to  be done, plus I have other things that need to be done for my YouTube channel. All of this I need to master and I will. I refuse to make excuses and I refuse to give up. Each day that comes, I will make continuous strides towards my empire. My daughter deserves a head start, and this she will get!

Stay tuned luvlies!! xo

It All Started In 2014.

On Thursday, 19 June 2014, I left my island home of Bermuda, to embark on a journey to London, England.

Yes, you read correctly. I left sunny Bermuda, with its sub-tropical climate, pink sandy beaches and turquoise waters, to live in not so sunny and dreary London. Lol yep… crazy I know! IMG_2397_2

I sold my belongings, gave up my apartment and took the biggest leap of faith of my life. I had a plan of sorts, but of course I had no idea of what awaited me. But I was excited as hell. I was going to be in London. I could get my fill of fashion, football and endless possibilities unknown to me.

See, this was going to be the first time I would have been away from home for an extended period of time. I was not able to attend college and uni so I was taking a big chance. I didn’t know if homesickness would kick in. What if after a week I couldn’t take it anymore? What if it was too overwhelming after a month?

Luckily for me I was going to be sharing a flat with another Bermudian, a very close friend of mine. He had previously returned back to the UK in November 2013, and it made sense financially to share a flat together. He is actually one of the reasons I wanted to go to London.

Since 2012 I knew I wanted to leave Bermuda, that there was more to life than the 21sq miles I call home. There was something missing; that I should be doing more exciting work and living in another country. I always said when I was younger I would like to live in England, and I think having an aunt who lived there for 30 years and that being my first trip at 5 years old was an influence from early on.

So 2014 it was. I said my ‘see you laters’, I told my mom to think of it as an extended vacation. I fought hard not to cry at the airport and I surely failed! All day I was on the verge of tears really. Even when I said goodbye to my neighbors. I went through security, tears on my cheeks ready to take on London.

My fam.. at L.F. Wade Airport
My fam.. at L.F. Wade Airport

It’s now evident, London had a lot more in store for me than I could imagine.